Wednesday, July 21, 2010

What We Learned at the Zoo

Hello Family and Friends. I thought I would tell you about what lessons I learned while staying at Grandma and Grandpas house with Jonas, Adrianna, Preston and Lydia while Mom, Adam, Maggie, Aunt Cami, Aunt Cali, Lily Ransom and Gideon ran off some where for a few days.


I learned there are two types of concrete burns. The kind you get from wet cement and the kind you get when your head smacks a concrete wall.
Preston was the teacher of this life lesson. You should have seen the wall... Ha,ha,ha.
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I also learned it is okay for kids to act like monkeys at the zoo.
Actually, this type of primate behavior is almost expected.
We learned that a full grown tiger is large enough to carry more than half of the Guffey family.
I give us a 6.5 on the group dismount. Some of us had a little trouble sticking it.
Lydia taught us that to control and unruly tiger you just grab it by the ear and squeeze it real hard. Turn it down and the tiger walks forward, turn it backwards and the tiger will sit. Let go and he will eat you.
After several tries we concluded that three Guffey heads are all that will fit in a lions mouth at one time.
"Listen to me you guys, 4 Guffey heads will not fit in the lion's mouth."... "What do you mean drinking fountain? On his tongue? That's just gross!"

Adrianna was fearless when she entered the wild goat pen. She is like a "goat whisperer" and soon had them all calm enough that we were able to brush their fur.


Adrianna is very wise when it comes to dealing with wild goats. She was especially thoughtful and thanked the goats personally for being so well behaved.
She taught Preston and Lydia the secret touch to calm an anxious goat. This one was on the verge of breaking out until Odi Podi worked her magic.
Did you know that Llama's can spit? Yeah... Preston and Lydia asked this guy to demonstrate....
Jonas was a little puzzled about the thinking and planning on the part of zoo officials when it came to the Donkey pen. They put a framed square in the fence for you to reach through to pet the donkeys. Then they put a sign up warning you that if you try to pet the donkeys they may bite. What kind of twisted grown up logic is this? Is it a trick? A test? Well, we were too smart for them. We could care less if we ever pet a biting donkey.
"Pick a little, talk a little, Pick a little, talks a little, ... cheep, cheep, cheep, talk a lot, pick a little more......"
"It's a bird?, It's a Monkey?.... What is it?"
"Then Adrianna, Preston and I hatched a great plan......"

We learned that grandpa Darryl is not really a bird expert,
even though he knows a lot of cool stuff!
"This my grandchildren, is an Osprey. Or a deformed owl, which ever you want it to be."
Just so you know, we are not staring at a fence in the window. There are penguins on the other side of that glass. "The penguin Cabaret" ...sort of. (That was a Metaphor.... or maybe an idiom.)
So, Mom's computer is dying and she can't get online to put up any posts right now. If any of my aunts have pictures from this summer of us having fun, please call my mom and she will tell you all the magic words so you can post the pictures on her blog for all of her friends to see.
I'll talk to you later.
Love,
Emily

2 comments:

Becky said...

Emily-
EXCELLENT commentary, my dear!!! I was very entertained. You really do help your mom with everything!

Love,

Aunt Suzanna

Guffey Family said...

Notice: Narrative was written by Grandma serving as a ghostwriter for Emily and was taken from conversations overheard at the zoo.